Cabin Fever

3 days in and I am freaking restless. I'm not supposed to drive on painkillers, and I keep feeling worse anyway. What I really want is to go for a walk, so maybe when B. gets home he will go w. me. I also want to stop eating so much damn ice cream. I am actually sick of it. I can see why people who have ocd or some other reason to stay home all day get so paranoid. Because I seem to be 'having trust issues' right now (and have also had to watch Elder, hence the introspection maybe?) Like to the point where I feel shaky and sick to my stomach. But that might just be from staying home and taking painkillers for 2 1/2 days. But i cant shake the feeling that a certain relationship is picking up where it left off, only sneakier and more gaurded. B/c B. tells me he hasn't been talking to H. but i know thats not true. he says he wont call her back, but her means he wont call her with me there. Ive gone into psycho mode, and I hate myself for it, and always looked down at these other crazy chicks whose ranks ive joined. but b4 i always had trust, and now i dont. and i feel so manipulated. and now i dont know what to think b/c B. went out of town last nite, 4 perfectly legitimate business reasons, i know, but he didnt want me 2 go. maybe its b/c im here all puffy and out of it, ill buy that, but i do know that H. was in the same city. were they together? it sucks b/c i really have no way to find out. I want to bring it all out in the open, scream my head off, find out wtf is going on. but i keep thinking maybe its better to wait and watch for now....?