Cabin Fever

3 days in and I am freaking restless. I'm not supposed to drive on painkillers, and I keep feeling worse anyway. What I really want is to go for a walk, so maybe when B. gets home he will go w. me. I also want to stop eating so much damn ice cream. I am actually sick of it. I can see why people who have ocd or some other reason to stay home all day get so paranoid. Because I seem to be 'having trust issues' right now (and have also had to watch Elder, hence the introspection maybe?) Like to the point where I feel shaky and sick to my stomach. But that might just be from staying home and taking painkillers for 2 1/2 days. But i cant shake the feeling that a certain relationship is picking up where it left off, only sneakier and more gaurded. B/c B. tells me he hasn't been talking to H. but i know thats not true. he says he wont call her back, but her means he wont call her with me there. Ive gone into psycho mode, and I hate myself for it, and always looked down at these other crazy chicks whose ranks ive joined. but b4 i always had trust, and now i dont. and i feel so manipulated. and now i dont know what to think b/c B. went out of town last nite, 4 perfectly legitimate business reasons, i know, but he didnt want me 2 go. maybe its b/c im here all puffy and out of it, ill buy that, but i do know that H. was in the same city. were they together? it sucks b/c i really have no way to find out. I want to bring it all out in the open, scream my head off, find out wtf is going on. but i keep thinking maybe its better to wait and watch for now....?

Sad but True

It is one thing to want someone out of your life, it is another thing to serve them a wake up cup full of liquid drano -Heathers

Test of the Emergency Broadcast System

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